Being available.

 My daughter is especially good at being available.

When I have a project going, or house cleaning, or whatever, the boys will often disappear to play their own games, but Valor will usually hover around close by, asking, “Can I help?”

This sometimes drives me crazy (like when I’m trying to type or read something and focus) but I want to be careful how I answer her, even when the true answer is, “No. You really can’t help with this.” But here she is, being available and willing to obey each little thing as it comes up.

Sometimes I find little bonus jobs that she can do, that aren’t really critical but keep her occupied and invested and give her an opportunity to serve, be with me, and be appreciated. Sometimes I speak out of frustration and tell her to go play while I focus on what I’m doing. Sometimes I am able to slow down and really let her help, or at least learn the process so that someday she can help. And as long as she’s willing to obey and help with each little thing as it comes up, it always ends up being a true help and blessing for both of us.

It occurred to me today that God never dismisses a heart willing to help. He never speaks out of frustration to me. Sometimes he allows me to have a season of feeling helpful, and in retrospect I look back and realize that probably the person most helped was myself, by being occupied and feeling useful. But the truth is, the Lord does not need me. There are people far more qualified in every way for everything I ever do. And yet, somehow, he equips and allows me to not only be in His kingdom, but even, sometimes, to really truly be a part of kingdom building. 

God doesn’t always (or usually…or ever!) hand out the flashy, high profile jobs initially. He asks me to be faithful first in the little things. First I had to be faithful to obey my parents, then I had to be faithful to grow in wisdom and godliness and take the opportunities for growth He gave me. Then He entrusted to me slightly bigger jobs…and bigger…now I have three kids and my husband is in law enforcement and we help run a ministry and…I recognize my inability to do any of those things particularly well, especially in my own strength. But God didn’t call a professional, awesome, super-mom to do those things here —He just asked me. 

And all I have to do is be available, and obey each little thing as it comes up.