The Stress Response - Increasing Capacity (Part 5 - Finale!)

Welcome back to our series on mastering stress! 

Five weeks ago, I posted my original Stress Response Article (written for the CWM Newsletter), which gives an overview of the biggest takeaways from dealing with stress in our Christian walk. To expand on these ideas, we began by Assessing Your Stress (Part 1), then Understanding Your Stress (Part 2), then examined our survival brain processing function answering the question,  "Am I Safe?" (Part 3), and most recently, we addressed our emotional brain processing function and answered the question, "Am I loved?" with Gratitude (Part 4),  I highly recommend you read through those before this article. Either way, I am excited to share today's final installment with you!

We're going to address two main ideas today:

First, we'll address the final level of brain function, the executive or logical level, and get some ideas for how to respond and master stress in the moment at that level, in the same way we looked at responding to stress in our survival and emotional levels. 

Second, we'll look for ways to increase capacity and decrease demand proactively, setting you up for success when you hit those inevitable stressful situations!

Let's do a quick recap:

I'm going to tie together the two major steps we've learned. 

When you have your acute stress response, your brain initially starts processing in the survival level of your brain, asking, "Am I safe?" You can respond to that and silence the mental alarm bells by breathing to inform your brain you are safe and taking it to the Lord in prayer. I am safe in God.

Your brain will then move the processing to your emotional core, asking, "Am I loved?" You can respond to that by practicing gratitude in that moment, and pointing out to yourself the goodness of the Lord. I am loved by God.

Finally, now, our brains can begin processing in the executive level of our brain! And this is where we can focus in and plan and act without the stress response fogging up the soundness of our mind--as II Timothy 1:7 says, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a SOUND MIND." (Emphasis mine)

So, now that you have your brain back, what’s the next step?

Stress: Focus and Adjust

Once you're ready to address your stress at the logical level, you can finally focus on problem-solving the actual stressful situation. To begin, be curious. Ask yourself, "What is one thing that would be the most helpful to do right now to use the energy and information my stress is providing?" (Remember, your stress response is actually trying to help you by providing that little boost of adrenaline, narrow focus, and speeding thoughts.) In other words, look at your situation, assess it, and form a plan. 

For example, sometimes the sheer volume of projects and needs in my home makes me react by just...freezing. I go numb and can’t seem to prioritize or function productively at all (which doesn’t help with my overwhelmedness!). When I have responded in a “freeze” stress response initially, I regain control of my brain with the breathing/praying/gratitude steps, then I can formulate a plan. Sometimes it's a s simple as prioritizing the needs of the people in my home over the chores. Sometimes I just need to make a to-do list to help me prioritize immediate next steps  

Another question you might ask yourself in that moment is, "Are my expectations realistic?" That is to say, is the stress I am currently experiencing a result of me taking on expectations or burdens that are not mine to take--they are not given to me by God, but rather by one of my enemies (the world, the flesh, or the devil)? In the example above, I often find that I’m subconsciously hoping to get a whole season’s-worth of chores done TODAY before that event this weekend—stuff that is completely unrelated and unnecessary for the event! I can scale back my expectations to chores in the space and with equipment that we will actually use (I don’t REALLY need to also prep my garden bed RIGHT NOW).

Again, we need to always be adjusting and reframing our “stress lens.” We can consider the likely outcome of our stressful situation--and in your common, garden variety stress, even the worst case scenario outcome is probably not worth the agonizing we give it. This goes back to keeping a sound perspective, as we've discussed before. (My house isn’t going to be perfect when people come over —oh no! Or wait...so what? We live here. It’s usually pretty clean. It’s going to get trashed with all the kids playing anyway...a light touch-up is fine. I don't need to deep-clean every surface!) Once we've been able to assess a probable outcome, we can ask ourselves, what is the next step we need to take? (Don't worry about the whole big deal--just the immediate, next step!) Then go ahead and take that step. 

Demand and Capacity and Battery Life

Think of yourself as a battery. The energy you store is your capacity, and the demand is the drain on that energy. You can only sustain so much before you simply need to recharge. The more of a demand debt you allow to build up, the more desperately you need a recharge!

You are designed a multifaceted being--you are made up of physical, emotional, social, mental, and spiritual parts. All those parts can be recharged in various ways, and each of them affects the others. I'm going to let you in on a little secret--every single choice makes a difference. [Sidebar: which fruit of the Spirit do you think might come into play here?]

I'm not telling you to "destress"--that is more of an escape mindset, and I want to try to help you get away from that in your thinking about stress. I want you to rather see your experiences as either draining or refueling your self--increasing that capacity and, where possible, decreasing the demand. 

A recharge might be your traditional stress-reducing ideas, such as a massage, luxurious bubble bath, a treat for yourself, a vacation...but let's be honest, how often can we really do those things? We need something we can do in real-time in real-life! 

Here are a few questions to ask to pinpoint where you need a practical recharge:

• Physical:
• Are you hungry?
• Have you MOVED today? (Done something that makes your blood pump?)
• Do you have nutrient imbalances/deficiencies? (Too much sugar/alcohol/not enough protein/fiber/whatever?)
• Are you sick or injured (your body is expending extra energy healing whether you "feel" it or not!)
• Emotional:
• Are you worrying or obsessing over something?
• Are you exasperated? 
• Are you in a complaining rut or forgetting to practice gratitude? 
• Social:
• Are you isolated?
• Have you had a draining or negative social interaction?
• Have you had the kind of positive interaction that leaves you feeling energized?
• Mental:
• Have you actually rested lately (scrolling on your phone is NOT REST)?
• Has your mind interacted with stimulating information lately or has it been lethargic?
• Have you "flexed" your mind recently? (Given yourself a problem to solve?
  
• Spiritual:
• Have you been reading your Bible?
• Have you been praying?
• Are you in some sort of discipleship or accountability relationship?
• Have you been walking in the flesh instead of in the Spirit?

One person's recharge might be another person's drain (for example, my husband is totally recharged by playing sports, but I am 100% stressed and drained by them!) But here are some ideas for practical recharges that you can do in five-minutes or less:

• Exercise
• Make a to-do list
• Eat a heathy snack
• Drink water
• Drink hot tea or coffee 
• Create something
• Play a game (in real life; not phone/computer/TV!)
• Read (Something on paper! Not on a screen!)
• Connect with someone (even an email, a phone call, or through text!)
• Get outside
• Stretch
• Create order in a  small way (like stack the magazines on your table)
• Laugh
• Sing 

You'll notice not a single item above includes scrolling on your phone--I love Pinterest, so this is hard for me! I know it's not what you want to hear, but it is true: Phones are an escape, not a fix. Don't fool yourself into thinking you are "recharging" by scrolling. Even utilizing great tools on your phone (Kindle, Hoopla, educational apps...) Your brain is being stressed out and triggered by ads, social media, and a billion other little marketing tricks every one of those App designers are masters in using to draw you in and trigger the "give me more" parts of your brain. We want your brain to be refreshed and recharged, not left feeling like it has missed out on something--which is exactly what happens from almost every app/screen experience. (I'm sure there are exceptions, but I don't think there are many!)

Start it like you want to finish it:

Start your day the way you want it to go. I recommend getting up and launching with a recharge and fortifying yourself for what you know will be the battle ahead. I'm just going to say it--have your quiet time; read your Bible, pray, and ask for the Holy Spirit to lead you through this day. I know, that's most basic, oldest advice ever, and I know when you're not a morning person this seems like you ought to be the exception. Maybe some of you are an exception, I don't know--but whenever you plan to have this foundational margin in your day, to refuel yourself spiritually, make sure that doesn't get drowned out or cut! 

Reset; Don't React:

Instead of falling into our reactive patterns of stress, proactively fuel up when you know you're headed to stress, and head into it with a plan for how you will refuel throughout. And when you get stressed (yup, I know it still happens!) have a plan for a RESET.

You can reset with a lot of the same things that recharge you, but my top three favorite resets are: 

• Gratitude
• Joy and Laughter
• Spiritual Breathing

Have you heard of the concept of “spiritual breathing”?

It’s nothing complicated or mystical; just a simple process to practice some of the basics of repentance of sin, submission to the Lord, and walking in the Holy Spirit instead of our own strength. Basically, spiritual breathing is when you are struggling or realize you’ve fallen into sin and you stop, “exhale”—pray for help and confess sin before the Lord and repent of it; and “inhale”—accept God’s forgiveness in Jesus and ask that the Holy Spirit would, again, be guiding and filling you. (Sounds familiar, right?!)

The Bottom Line

You can see the common theme here, and this is the bottom line of almost everything we're learning: if you are experiencing chronic stress, revisit the basics of a faithful life in Christ. 

Start with stilling yourself before the Lord in faith. Seek His help, by faith, in prayer. Acknowledge, by faith, His goodness in your life and give thanks. Allow God's perspective to shape your perspective, re-evaluate your situation and then respond in faith and obedience to what He is calling you to do--no more, no less.

I'm not trying to say that stress is caused by a lack of faith, but more that it's caused by a lack of practical application and practice of that faith. You know you can trust God with all this--but maybe you haven't maintained the disciplines practicing that faith in certain aspects and your enemy--the devil--will most certainly use that as a foothold in your life to minimize your efficacy by "stressing you out." 

It is so much easier to slip into complacent and "normal" behaviors where we don't exercise self control and other fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). We so easily forget to take care of our bodies and treat them like the temple of the Holy Spirit (I Corinthians 6:19). We don't anticipate and plan for the stress that God assured us we will meet in our lives (John 16:33, I Peter 5:9, II Timothy 3:12, John 15:18-21) and we forget to take those burdens back to our Savior, who has promised to give rest to the weary (Matthew 11:28). Taking every thought captive makes you a wierdo in today's "acceptance" culture, and yet we see that that same culture is at epidemic levels of chronic stress and missing out the relationship to Jesus (II Corinthians 10:5)! I could go on and on, but I encourage you to look to the basics. 

I want to leave you with a passage from Scripture that I think encapsulates what we're up against, and how stress is just a new name for an old fight: 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm, then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

This is a battle of much more than flesh and blood, sisters! 

This article is part of a series originally written for the Crossroads Women's Ministry Blog, cbcwm.blogspot.com. Special thanks to Katie Kimball for launching me on this stress mastery journey!