Homeschool War and Peace

"Youth is no impediment to bravery." --Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

While obviously homeSCHOOL is about educating our kids and teaching academics, there's a side of homeschooling that is (arguably) even more critical to our children's development, not only for success in this life, but  in terms of eternity. I would say that the most primary and important teaching we will do is about God--helping them to develop a sound (Scriptural) understanding of God, and forming their own relationship to God through Jesus. Through the development and maturing of that relationship, we can start to see the character of our children mature and grow, and Christ-like character is frankly the only thing that makes a peaceful, thriving, and joyful home school possible! (Indeed, the work of Christ in our hearts is what makes a peaceful, thriving, and joyful FAMILY possible!) 

I've mentioned addressing "character issues" in other posts, and I wanted to expand on that a little today, within the context I described above. And I'm going to get pretty real with you today, so buckle up!

Unsurprisingly, my kids have their own garden variety of sins and issues that make homeschooling a challenge. For example, one of my kids is apathetic to the point of laziness when it comes to some aspects of learning. Another child is incredibly selfish and competitive. Another finds learning easy and enjoys flaunting that before struggling siblings. All three of them don't like sharing (especially sharing my attention); they are loud and opinionated and passionate—where could they have learned that?—and they all would probably tell you that my lessons are often boring. (They are very similar to me, as a child, in other words! Sorry, mom!) It reminds me of that passage in Jeremiah where the people cry out, "Peace! Peace!" but there is no peace. (Jeremiah 6)

We've tried a variety of approaches when it comes to dealing with these (and other) issues in the context of home school--because we don't have the option of letting other people address those issues when it comes to academics. If my kid doesn't "get" math, and he develops a bad attitude about math, I don't get a note from a frustrated teacher at intervals, I AM the frustrated teacher (and let's be honest--I have my own attitude problems when it comes to math!). And then it starts to bleed into everything. Soon it's not just math, anytime I require an assignment that is a challenge, the same attitude rears its ugly head, and both child and parent (that's me!) get into ruts of response; some healthier than others! 

There is NO PEACE. 

To me, is one of the biggest "pros" when it comes to education outside the home (and I do think there's a lot of place for out-sourcing to gifted and godly teachers when the opportunity is available!). At times, I long for the division of labor so that I can scrounge up some peace as I relinquish of some of the emotional burden of cramming the necessary information into that obstinate little monster's brain--whoops, I mean, into that precious-gift-of-God-and-fruit-of-my-womb's brain.

SO HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS when you're not just mom, but you're mom and teacher? 

I wish I had a tried-and-true answer for that.

What I do have is a little bit of a foundational paradigm shift that helps keep all this in perspective...which seems to help me keep from pulling out my hair over things like...fractions. 

While my "whoops" a couple paragraphs ago was tongue-in-cheek--of course I know and think my kids are a gift from God--that really is a foundational belief that is absolutely crucial for both why and how I can homeschool my kids. 

Because THEY ARE SINFUL LITTLE MONSTERS, and I AM A SINFUL MONSTER TOO. 

But they're also beloved gifts of God, and somehow, I am also His beloved.

When I maintain my understanding of them in that context and don't allow myself to see just monsters, that helps me to look at the sins, resistance, and struggles as the spiritual battles that they are--not just inconveniences to me, or even malicious attempts to undermine MY FABULOUS, COLOR-CODED, WASHI-TAPED PLANS. Ahem. 

It's a battleground; a massive struggle going on for the hearts, souls, and minds of my kids. The enemy is seeking to destroy them; and when I allow or cultivate a twisted perception of them, where I don't see them as allied ranks who are under heavy fire—a squadron that I am responsible to defend—but as some form of opposition, then I am playing right into the devil's hand. He wants to divide-and-conquer--or maybe incite a tragic friendly-fire incident or even a traitorous and deceptive assassination. Each time I succumb to sinful responses, manipulative behaviour, and self-pitying excuses and justification, I am losing ground. But thank goodness, I am not fighting this battle alone! And to be honest, I'm not even a particularly high-up commander in this war--my Commander-in-Chief, who is before and beside me is Christ! He is every bit and MORE invested in the ultimate (eternal!) success and sanctification of my kids--and me. And thankfully, He is MUCH BETTER at this warfare than I am! 

Romans, arguably the most systematic and clear presentation of essential doctrine in all of Scripture (which I appreciate much more as a teacher than I did as a student!), winds to a close with this statement, "The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet." (Romans 16:20) 

That's pretty powerful stuff. First of all, who is doing this? 

The God of peace. He both IS of peace (it's part of His essential character) and He BRINGS peace. 

And what happens? 

Crush Satan. Wow. That's precisely what I want to see happen in my home school! 

But wait, under who's feet? 

Under your feet. So get this. Not only is our unbelievably powerful and awesome God ushering in peace, but He's doing it by a massive victory over the prince of evil; and in case that isn't enough--He's allowing me--little monster me--to have a share in the victory! I get to take part! 

That's powerful. It makes me want to sing O Victory in Jesus! But I won't (at least, not here), because I love you. On this foundation, then, I have some specific tips and examples of addressing the various challenges that we've been facing, but I'll save that for another post. For now, let me leave you with one more thought. 

If we're going to engage in the battle raging (which we are, whether we realize it or not), we need to be armed. We have GOT to be spending time in God's Word. Mama, if you don't have a daily quiet time, please hear me; it doesn't have to look like mine, it doesn't have to be at a certain time of day, but you have GOT to have an ongoing, habitual diet of Scripture (and if there are any Dads reading this--your constant diet of the Bible is more essential to the success of your home school and your wife than you know). Personally, I've been dwelling in Ephesians 6 a lot lately, pondering the Armor of God, and looking to develop that in my daily struggles. I highly recommend the exercise of examining God's tools made available to us by His Word as pictured in that passage. We also need to stay in constant contact with our Commanding Officer. When I don't know what to pray, I start with the Lord's Prayer, and it usually expands into the particulars (and leads to prayers I didn't even realize I needed to pray!) You can find the Lord's Prayer in Luke 11 or Matthew 6.

To close this extremely long post, I will borrow a closing from the apostle Paul, "May the Lord of Peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance." (II Thessalonians 3:16). There is victory in Jesus, my friends! Keep fighting the good fight!

This post, in its original form, appeared on the Home School Corner of cbcwm.blogspot.com