Today we have a special guest interview with Kelley, a home school mom-graduate, now home school grandma! Kelley's kids were some of my best friends growing up, and now I not only enjoy a friendship with her, but I also greatly benefit from her insight and experience as I'm home schooling my little tribe.
Me: When were you homeschooling and why did you decide to home school your kids?
Kelly: We home schooled from 1996 through 2011. We decided to home school because our oldest was not a typical child and had some challenges in public school. He was identified as gifted but had some character traits that didn't sit well with teachers and administrators. We found we were having almost weekly meetings with the teacher, counselor, and principal. They truly cared about him and implemented a number of offerings to help him. He would respond well initially to each initiative, but quickly lost interest. In the end, I don't think they knew how to help him, especially with other students to teach. My husband and I went back and forth - do we home school, do we work with the school, what's best for this child? However, after a number of years of all of us struggling to make it work, we decided to home school when he entered sixth grade. I admit the first year was not stellar. The second year was better, but not a lot. And after that, we had reasonable successes, but he definitely kept us on our toes! Our second son was going into first grade with unique needs in his own right. Our daughter came along for the ride a few years later. We were able to meet each child's needs as individuals - that was a huge benefit and part of our goal in homeschooling, but we didn't understand how big the dividends would be in the end.
Me: Looking back, in what ways did you see God's work through your home school, and what would you say was the most rewarding part of home schooling?
Kelley: First, I need to mention that home educating your child is an awesome responsibility, and humbling. You never know how you are doing. There are no evaluations, tests, promotions, - nothing to give you feedback, other than how you see your child growing. I would mentally compare my children with children from other families and, looking back, that was a really bad idea. I came to realize that God gave each of my children unique gifts to do the work He has laid out for them, and that is not going to be the same work, or work in the same way, as anyone else. So, I needed to focus on faithfully educating each child - focusing on spiritual development and character development, in addition to academics. And I didn't do it in a vacuum. I was blessed to have a whole host of more spiritually mature mentor-moms and dads to lean on and guide me and help mentor and teach my children. Our family was incredibly blessed by the friendships we developed - not only parent to parent, but children to children, and children to other adults - that still stand to this day. Developing those deep relationships was a benefit to home schooling. I've asked our now-grown children how they feel about being home schooled and, although they were embarrassed when they first went off to college, they are very appreciative of their experience. And we all enjoy one another's company. God worked in many ways in our lives - sometimes hard ways - but I'm glad we ended up where we are now. Growing in relationship with one another, with others, and growing in the Lord were the biggest rewards we all experienced.
Me: In what ways can home schoolers involve and utilize grandparents in their home school?
Kelley: Grandparents may need some time to warm up to the idea of homeschooling. Our parents were not enthused when we mentioned that was the direction we were heading, but they eventually saw the benefits. Our oldest was really interested in magnetic levitation and my father, an engineer, was more than happy to explore the topic with him. My in-laws shared their love of mining and camping with their grandchildren - something still fondly remembered. We are supportive of our children home educating their children, even if it's not forever. When the pandemic hit, our oldest and his wife (both home educated) asked how we felt about videochatting regularly with their 6-year-old, so we meet four times a week for an hour or more a day. It started with me reading to my granddaughter and then her reading to me as her reading skills progressed. Sometimes we draw together or paint. Other times, I watch as she makes Lego creations and we chat. It gives her parents a break, and gives us time to make memories even though we are far apart and can't visit. Our daughter's oldest is just 3 years old, but she found she wanted a little more structure to their day and wanted to introduce certain concepts to her daughter. We purchased a literature-based pre-K curriculum for them to use. And we just talk a lot with our children about how their children are learning and growing, and can give some insights, when asked. We appreciate them including us in their days.
Me: What would you like to tell home school moms today (maybe something that helped you, or that you wish someone had told you?!)
Kelley: I guess I would encourage parents to recognize God has loaned them their child/children, entrusting them to raise each child faithfully, trusting Him. If God has called you to home school, He will equip and lead you, even if you feel inadequate. You can reach out to others for help. If that help doesn't arrive, trust God to fill in that gap. He has made each child unique and our job is to love them and strive to develop relationship with them, first and foremost. Just as God wants relationship with us, I believe He wants us to have deep relationship with our children. Too, our children are not a reflection of ourselves. They will disappoint us, as we disappoint God. We will disappoint our children, as well. But we can repent and seek forgiveness, both of God and our children. I admit I didn't learn that when my children were young. It took time. I came to realize even though we struggled, there was value in the struggle. It's a privilege to home educate our children. It's not easy, but I think there can be great benefits.
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